What Were You Thinking?

They were making fun of me 

'Cause I had the tendency to rant

To go on rants I guess

They were saying I hadn't the patience 

They said fatherhood would test me 

Picturing me, ME!

With the baby, and

She's got a dirty diaper, or 

She's just thrown my cellphone

In the toilet , or something

And I am supposedly 

Looking down at her,

Screaming

"What were you thinking!?"

You know, 

At this little girl

So I went out

To prove them WRONG of course

You know,

I'm gonna be 

The number one Dad

And never do anything wrong

Always calm cool and collected

Right?

(This is all before she is born of course

So I have NO IDEA.  None.

I am experiencing Blissful Ignorance).

Meanwhile everyone at work 

Sees me and they go

"Hey Chili!  What were you thinking?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

You know, and so on.

So now I'm determined.

Meanwhile Heather buys some

Baby Stuff

You know, she goes to Target

Everything is tiny and CUTE

Tiny socks and towels

And she buys these diaper pins

They have the colored plastic on 'em

You don't really need them anymore

But she gets them anyway

(And that's great.  

I get it.  It's symbolic, you know,

I love that about her).

Anyway,

One of these pins ends up in my pocket

And its in the pants I wear to the hospital

And Sophie's born

And, you know, I'm totally in love with her

And that night she's asleep,

Heather's asleep,

I find the pin, 

And I hook it on my keys 

To remind me

To be patient.